The biggest myth about unschooling is that it's lonely. In reality, it was the only time I felt I could actually choose my community instead of having one assigned to me by my zip code.

An editorial illustration of a heterogeneous group of people—a teen, an older man, a child, and a young woman—all leaning over a blueprint on a shared workbench.

When I was 13, my "best friends" included a 17-year-old aspiring filmmaker, a 40-year-old carpenter, and a few other unschooled kids who shared my obsession with retro-gaming.

Because I wasn't segregated by age, my social circle was built around values and interests. I didn't have to navigate cafeteria politics or hallway posturing. I just had to show up and contribute to the things I cared about.

School socialization teaches you how to survive a hierarchy. Unschooling socialization teaches you how to build a network.

Looking back, the emotional maturity of my unschooled peers was staggering compared to the high schoolers I knew. We weren't "weird"; we were just practiced in the art of human connection across lines of age and experience.

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